i'll update more later. definitely not in the mood tonight.

i fucked up real bad.

im sorry. :(

i miss you..

long weekend.

well im officially living with my sister now.
i hope it all works out.


ps:
i hate my mom.
i never asked for any of this.
im quitting smoking again, i promise.

such a short entry for someone with so much to say.
ill get back to it.

well its come to be that time again.

this journal is now FRIENDS ONLY.

not a friend ? comment to be added.

well, i have a crush. but shhh dont tell anyone. <3 <3

ugh, so lately i have been increasingly bitchy - i need sleep despritely.

so my mom's niceness has officially worn off. i want to die...or move out. fuck.

i need a car.

i think im really sick, when i talk i hear echoes...and i couldnt breathe out of my nose to save my life. this is what i get for sleeping outside. stupid me.

i need to call mcc.

so well i guess the plan to update more frequently didnt work out as well as planned, but im making progress.

im on the verge of moving out, but can't because i feel bad. i feel like my mom would actually miss me if i did really move out. i shouldn't, but i can't help it. maybe ill give it a few more weeks & see how things go.

i got my license on monday, this makes me super happy because i dont think i would have handled failing that stupid test twice. that might be

ive gained a few pounds this summer, and im not thrilled about that. it wont be there much longer..if i can help it. i mean i have had my period for almost a month straight. stupid pills.

my next update will be about shan's grad party, but i dont have enough time to do it tonight.

okay now im falling asleep, more later.

i dont really know what to update on tonight, but i feel as if i should.

i took my stupid test today, and did quite well...on the math part. english, not as well...but im not complaining. the only thing left to do is to go register for classes.. wow.

bowling was fuun. i kicked b-u-t-t in the first game and well i sucked horribly in the second. maybe bowling wasnt the best idea, it was hot...and i dont know how many people actually like bowling. oh well, we all (emily, jess, kyle, jimmy) had a good time.

i havent tried to fix any friendships, like i had originally planned...but i think its for the best. i dont want to fake friendships to make amends before we leave each other, maybe forever. whats meant to be would have been and i know that we are both better off just leaving this "as is". you can hate me, but is it really worth it?

okay, so enough of the seriousness. the dipper was awesome last night. i thought i was gonna hate it, but let me tell you... i'm a sucker for a bonfire haha. i got to spend some time with some cool people, and lots that i dont know. it was a wheatland/scottsville/caledonia party. freaking awesome. so i got home from this at 3ish and was sleeping at 3:30ish and was up for my test at 7:30 . 4 hours is do-able.

i think i want to move by the end of the month, although..my mom has done a complete 180 in the past week. she misses me, and thats a first. she isnt even being a dick to me anymore. woah.


well im done...i dont know what to write about anymore.

my newest lists of (+)'s and (-)'s ...


plus-es //
+ well of course my first plus is that rick and linda allow emily and i to be friends again (because i love love love her.)
+ graduation.
+ graduation parties.
+ drive - in trips with em, jess and colin-cakes.
+ skelly road with the girls ... and aj.
+ moving out...?
+ chris came to visit.
+ skinny dipping everywhere.
+ camera phones.
----------------------------------------------->>
minus-es //
- road test in 5 days and i might fail ... again.
- mcc placement test tomorrow.
- im poor, again.
- chris left.
- nicole + tekisha + suzie @ graduation parties = not fun.
- work.

i want to quit smoking, i want to quit all bad habits. good luck to me.
eep. well im gonna go.

well i'm thinking that i should start updating this thing more...i mean it's been about 6 months or more since the last update.

graduation is in about seventeen hours and well...i'm a little nervous and reallly excited. high school graduate...college here i come. but to keep it short and simple, i'm glad it's finally over. i cannot wait to escape the drama and the bullshit that comes with high school girls. i hated high school for the most part, but i made the best of it.

and this is for all those who think i have a "problem"...fuck off. if i wanted you in my life, you would still be a friend of mine. but it sucks for you because your predictions of me are wrong. i do, in fact, have more than one friend...and i quite possibly have more friends than you do. but i am so glad you think so highly of me. nonetheless, i do hope the best for you in all that you do, and when we were friends i did value our friendship.

it's been a long week and i think that i need to catch up on some sleep that i have not gotten.

i guess i'll leave it at...
to the class of 2005: never forget the amazing times we all had. we made it.

hi. i'm nicole. i'm the only one who ever fucking updates this.

i am so sick of all this shit.

today was pretty shitty.

i think im sick, i got sick last night, i dont want to go to school tomorrow, and i hurt all over.

i really need to update soon. but not right now.

one more update and then bed time for me.

its getting a lot warmer here. it was almost 70 today, or maybe it was. i tend to stay inside when i watch the kids, its hard to admit im related to them sometimes. they sometimes act like they stopped learning new things at age 5. its supposed to be warm tomorrow too. my family has agreed to let me sleep in tomorrow, that makes me super happy. my mom is leaving in the morning to go to my grandmas, which means the two noisy kids will go too. and my sister had invited me to go shopping with her, but unfortunately i had to say no to that one too. i think im lacking a full week of sleep, maybe a little more.

no one is on tonight, most likely because its a friday night..and most people go out and do something on friday nights! well im a very boring person, who has now sucessfully bored herself. and now im going to bed because the more tired i get the more stupid i start to sound.

so my vacation is almost over. that makes me kinda sad. i had one week to do what i wanted and this week i had to babysit. oh well, summer will not come fast enough for me this year. but, next year is my last year. i cannot believe that im finally going to be a senior. i really need to start worrying about college and stuff now. i need to get my license soon. and i need to take my acts and sats. i should stop waiting until the last minute to do everything.

i love that my brother and sister will listen to me and not my mom. i find that really funny. what does that say about her parenting skills? well anyways, i guess the only reason i can complain is that im the only one in this family to hear the word 'no'. its not fair but when i turn 18 she can no longer tell me no, but she can tell me to get the hell out of her house.

theres not really a point in having a friends only journal when no one comments. im going back to letting everyone see it for a while, except for some entries. i dont know if anyone else will read it or not, but its worth a try.